Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in she_waslovely's LiveJournal:

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Monday, March 20th, 2006
6:03 pm	so ive been real busy. ive been doing winterguard, going to festivals, partying, and hanging out with lots of people i have made two decision next year im going to try out for winterguard. and my major is going to be in foreign language. i already know spanish, and i know english. i need to learn latin and i wanna learn italian and/or french. Current Mood: cold Current Music: the darkness (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 1st, 2006
6:30 pm	im doing sometingi shouldnt, and karma is coming to bite me in the ass...i know it Current Mood: aggravated Current Music: belle and sebastian (Comment on this)
Monday, February 20th, 2006
6:03 pm	so tonight im working my ass off. then tomorrow kt and kevin are coming over and were all CELEBRATING!!! love cara =) Current Mood: content Current Music: pink floyd (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 14th, 2006
2:51 pm	sick on valentines =( oh well ill live so ive gotten a little bit into cartel. i mean theyre pretty good, so i guess i just should get theyre album instead of occasionally listening to them on myspace. the funny thing is is that their guitar player joe pepper was in a band with my brother and he played guitar in that band too. so yeah thats pretty funny. i need some pants. im going to earn money and buy some clothes or whatever. i dont buy clothes much anyway. being in a big family kinda sucks bc you get used to getting clothes from older siblings and shit like that. but hey there are ups and downs of having a big family. Current Mood: sick Current Music: cartel (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, February 13th, 2006
2:54 pm	sick....ugggghhh feel like shit. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, February 11th, 2006
9:17 am	so last night i did the worst thing. my mom was sick bc she had to take some pain killers for her teeth. and i was on the phone, so i told kevin to hold on so i could bring my mom some food like she asked i brought my mom the food. then i cleaned the kichen for about 10 minutes, and then daniel came to my door to give me a ride to dillons house. the whole time, i for got i was on the phone...i feel so bad about it still. kevin got worried and he called kt, and i think kt called jesse and then jesse called my moms cell phone, and then my mom called dillons house saying that kevin was calling alot on her cell phone. so i go home and look for the phone, and i see its off the hook and someones using it, so i look in jesses room...no phone, then i ask my mom...she didnt know. then im like whaaaat???? and i look on the couch in the dining room, there it was and for some reason, it still didnt register in my head that i left kevin on the phone. so i put the phone on the hook and call him and he tells me what idid and i was like o my god...i did...i have never done that EVER so i feel really bad bc he said he waited like 15 or 20 minutes and i feel really bad bc im really good about things like that. winter guard competition today!! woot!! go salem!!! Current Mood: sick (Comment on this)
12:22 am	poker night was fun. Current Mood: cold Current Music: listening to the rain outside (Comment on this)
Monday, February 6th, 2006
5:03 pm	who watched the steelers dominate last night??? hell yeah. Current Mood: content Current Music: some tv show with a crazt black lady talking (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, February 4th, 2006
9:26 pm	so today i was passing out flyers for my brother and i met a lot of interesting people. i saw a guy talking to himself alot. i met a crazy eccentric old woman i met 3 guys who told me they were gay, and that they didnt have girlfriends. then they just said thay they didnt really wnat flyers. but it was kinda funny. i had 6 mexican guys hit on me. but what sucked is that none of them but one spoke english. they were all above 18 atleast. so i had to speak an assload of spanish today. Current Mood: crushed Current Music: atreyu (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 1st, 2006
8:43 pm	so i never kistened to atreyu too much before, but im thinking about getting a few cd's now. but yeah. im going to a party friday or saturday (i think saturday) with kt and kevin. its gonna be fun as shit. so yeah. i turned in my english project 2 days early and kevin is crammin on his. haha on him! but yeah, tomorrow i have to stay after school for winter guard, or just come to school later and do what i have to for hobie. so yeah. i was thinking about trying out for guard for marching band, but i dont think i should do it bc some of my friends told me i would get stuck up...but i dont think the guard girls are stuck up, i liek them a lot, or atleast i like the ones i know. the other ones...i dont know, i just dont know them well enough to like or hate them. but yeah im talking to cameron right now and it feels akward bc me and cameron arent as great friends like we used to be. i mean...maybe we werent BEST friends, liek he was with some people, but whatever. so im thinking about getting together with some of my friends, and were gonna try to throw a huge ass party somewhere. not here at my house, unless my mom is gone or something. but whatever. im trying to work this camera bc jim told me to take a picture of my hair, so yeah peace. Current Mood: content Current Music: queen (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, January 30th, 2006
8:09 pm	atreyu is so fucking good. so i got a lot of compliments for my hair from people i didnt think knew i existed. it made me happy. ive never gotten so many compliments on my hair in a day. Current Mood: crazy Current Music: atreyu (Comment on this)
Sunday, January 29th, 2006
1:16 pm	so i got a bad ass hair cut yesterday. i rented blow and i watched it. i swear i love watching that movie. it is the best movie of all time. i never got to help out kt and her godmother. so yeah. i kinda wanted to help though. i dont know. Current Mood: content (Comment on this)
Monday, January 23rd, 2006
9:52 pm	things have gotten better. i didnt get to go to janfest or the roses for emily show, i ended up having to go to my grandpa's funeral...=( so i ended up going to my sisters and yeah...you can prolly guess from there. =) i really miss matt gold and cameron griffin. i kinda need to go see them. Current Mood: calm Current Music: smashing pumpkins (Comment on this)
Friday, January 20th, 2006
4:27 pm	him this has been the most horrible week. ive hated everyday of it. i hated yesterday. my stomach hurting my whole body shaking, my heart pounding, my whole body sweating like a bitch. kt being upset. it was horrible. i feel sick, i want to throw up. ive been thinking about this all day but im just trying to push it all out. i cried for a little while today and i just cant get over any of this. Current Mood: crushed (Comment on this)
Saturday, January 14th, 2006
11:27 am	so im going to a party today. its gonna be fun. i had to work my ass off for the money i earned too. so im glad. im gonna buy some shoes & then im buyiong some stuff for roseann's bday. gooossshh im excited. so yeah. Current Mood: excited Current Music: jack johnson (Comment on this)
Thursday, January 12th, 2006
3:38 pm	so officer dafney, he died. i didnt know what to think. it made me think a lot though. i thought about mary and when she shot herself. and brynn was thinking about her neighbor that died. as if that didnt get to me enough... mr rowser warms us up and hes lookin like hes about to cry. mr cresswell comes on the intercom and he starts crying as he asks us to stand for a moment of silence for officer dafney. mr rowser comes out and he is crying, that upset me. a lot. rowser lectured us for a while and told us it was okay to cry and all that. and then we had to say the pledge in second period. and the lady on the intercom starts crying. seeing mr rowser cry made me feel...like i never felt before. mr rowser has been the father i never had. so at the end of class i went up to him and i gave him a hug. it made me wanna cry so bad just because as much as rowser may have goin on in his life, he always manages to be the sweetest man ive ever met. ive been thinking about it all day, and its so weird. a lesson to everyone: cherish everything and everyone you have in your life. give them love and take care of them. we, as humans, dont realize how much someting or someone means to us until its taken away for a while, or goes away for a long time...or leaves forever. Current Mood: depressed (Comment on this)
3:36 pm	um, im gonna shoot myself. his dad is gonna cut off my head with a samurai sword, and call me a methodist tramp...gaaaawwwddd Current Mood: anxious (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, January 5th, 2006
5:23 pm	well, my day was interesting. people pick on my little brother when he tries to do nice things for people on the bus. so today, there is this girl named candy who accidentally stepped on this white guy's shoes (this white trying waaaayyy too hard to act black) his name was joey. my brother ben has a crush on her, and so he decided to be nice and get the shoe back for her. joey and this other black kid named jeremy or someting start yelling at ben and start picking on him calling him names and making fun of him nand are being total jerks. and poeple dont realize that ben has fucking feelings. what people say to him hurts, even though sometimes he might not understand, he understands some certain things. so as im witnessing people pick on my little brother, i go up, and i say calmly to joey "joey, you have no idea what youre getting yourself into and you have no i dea who youre messin with so you might as well stop...this is our conversation from there joey-bitch what the fuck you doin ill do whatever the fuck i wanna do me-joey youre making me do something i dont wanna do so you might as well just be quiet and turn around joey- man shit bitch i dont wanna fuckin turn around ill do what i fuckin want me-joey shut the fuck up and turn the fuck around this is fucking ridiculous *now im pissed as you can tell* joey-what if i dont wana fuckin turn round me-okay, fine, but dont talk to me and dont talk to my brother, so shut up, and leave ben alone bc you dont know who youre messin with..and you also need to turn around joey-what if i dont wanna turn the fuck around bitch ill do whatever the fuck i want so finally katherine comes up to joey & sits with him to make him shut the fuck up finally. he only shut up because hes in love with her. and so now ben is upset, i know he is, people dont see ben the way i do... so i come home... this is my conversation with my mom mom-hey cara how was your day. me-horrible mom-why me-because i hate some of the poeple in this neighborhood that ride the bus so i start talking about the story of what happened on the bus with joey, after that i cracked...this is what happened after me- PEOPLE DONT FUCKING REALIZE BEN HAS FUCKIN FEELINGS EVEN THOUGH HE DOES HAVE A LEARNING DISABILITY. PEOPLE ARE MEAN TO HIM EVEN WHEN HE DOES THE SWEETEST THINGS. HE TRIES TO DO SOMETING NICE FOR SOMEONE AND IT JUST ALL FUCKING BLOWS UP IN HIS FACE AND IM THE ONLY ONE THAT FUCKIN UNDERSTANDS BECAUSE IM THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN STAND UP FOR HIM BECAUSE NO ON ELSE FUCKING WILL STAND UP FOR HIM. BEN HAS FEELINGS, EVEN THOUGH HE DOESNT UNDERSTAND SOME THINGS... **silence** this is how passionate i am about family. family is life people, and we all gotta stick up for eachother. ben doesnt understand certain things, and unless you have a sibling thats mentally challeneged, you probably might wonder why im standing up for someone who is bein picked on that might not even understand. children have feelings, we all do, were all children. even someone that is autistic has feelings, but some people just dont realize that bc they think mentally challened poeple are "looney" or"crazy" or they "have some loose screws". every person on the face of this planet, autistic or not, has feelings peace. Current Mood: depressed (11 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 3rd, 2006
6:22 pm	this is it. i tell myself its just a phase and that soon itll all just go away im hopeless...im worthless this goes by everyday i come home and lock the door and as i watch myself bleed, i fall to the floor. im screaming inside but it wont happen anymore ive done cut after cut but now ive cut one cut too deep now youre coming through the door only to see me laying on the floor someting broke inside of me and i just gave up havent felt like this in a while... Current Mood: depressed (1 Comment |Comment on this)
5:18 pm	i dont know what to say to you anymore. she still likes you. its normal, but it still hurts. this sucks, and it hurts. Current Mood: depressed (1 Comment |Comment on this)